What I’ve Learned from a Smile

I was driving recently and I got to a red light. I pulled up behind the car in front of me and a little boy stuck his head out the window as he smiled and waved at me. This instantly brought a smile to my face as I waved back at him. I couldn’t help but smile. In that moment, he showed me who I was. In that moment, he seemed more like me than I was. How do we let ourselves get so far away sometimes?

 

There is a place within us that we can navigate from. It’s a place that moves freely and sees all things, peripherally and immediate. It carries the big picture yet it is focused on the moment’s task. It’s a loving vibration that is patient, whimsical, and understanding. There is another place that exists and it survives on negative emotion, jealousy, drama, and destruction. It’s a skeptical and worrisome place. Both of these centers are important and serve us for different situations; however if we mistake one of these places for being “the way,” we’ve then added side blinders to our peripheral vision. Both can exist in a useful and healthy manner if built on a foundation of love.

 

Sometimes we need to demolish old homes. Perhaps the foundation is secure, but we’ve neglected the structure of the build. Mother Nature and Father Time test the integrity of our home. That’s for damn sure. If and when the storm comes, we need a solid foundation to fall back on when all else is ripped away.

 

I’ve had failures and rejections. I’ve received bad news and have been ill. All of these things have tested my character and my faith. They’ve challenged me to let go as if they were preparation for the next level of understanding. I’ve had moments when I lost sight of who I was, and I’ve had moments where I’ve questioned faith. And when I say faith I don’t mean a rigid set of rules—I’m speaking directly about the source of life. These are dark moments. These are moments that seem never-ending, but all of a sudden a little boy in the car ahead smiles at you and you’re back.

 

Onward.

 

 

Photo: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/360569513893643368/

Get Out of Bed.

Don’t fall for the trap of comfort living on a king-sized bed floating over the ocean. There are many monsters below, just as there are many beautiful wonders. But you’ll never see anything if you just stay on your floating bed.

On the surface level of our anxious minds, we are like a flickering fluorescent light, unsure if we will shine again, Likely, we will keep flickering until we burn out. Perhaps burning out just means we’re meant to shine a warmer light somewhere else. It’s a heightened state of awareness and it’s not always easy, but it’s a gift.

It’s more than the worry of current and future relationships, or the regret of leaving a higher paying job for modest manual labour. It’s more than the comparisons to others, or waking up not sure if you’ve slept at all, or going to bed not knowing if you’ve been awake at all. It’s more than rushing out of the house in a panic in the middle of a winter night to try and catch your breath. It’s more than being immobilized on the couch, clutching your hands over your chest simultaneously fighting off and surrendering to a dark void.

This is consuming to think about, day in and day out. But what if we flipped the switch on this intruder? What if we made him start working for us instead of the other way around? What if we took this heightened sensitivity and wrote it out, in every beautiful and desperate word? This anxiety comes as a resistance to keep us from moving UP. Be brutally honest with yourself, because nobody else will be able to truly help you if you can’t help yourself.

See that THING you want to do. See that PLACE you wish to go. See that PERSON you already are. And know you are enough to start on this journey. The consequences of NOT doing this thing are far greater than doing it. We are more vulnerable in our day-to-day lives than we let ourselves think. We rely on the Earth to provide us with oxygen. We rely on other people to drive their cars on the right side of the road. We rely on there being electricity, food, and gasoline to fuel our lives. We are both creating and destroying the world, as it does to us. Beauty needs tragedy and love needs loneliness. Have faith in the good ahead.

 

It’s a mission worth every ounce of your blood and every moment of your attention. Keep at it. The good times are so nice.

 

 

Photo: https://www.pinterest.ie/pin/549368854516508062/?lp=true